Enter Freely and of your own Accord and leave a bit of the joy to bring with you when you leave.

It was my first trip to New York. I was traveling with my best friend Tammie and we were staying with Mary Clark, a fabulous actress and old friend who I had known since I was ten or so. Tammie and I were in this little bookstore/gift shop place in the theater district, we had just seen our first Broadway show. Ok, we had just seen the second act of our first Broadway show, we wuz po, we second acted it. Tommy. I loved it. Michael Cerveris, the star, still recognizes me when I stalk him.

Standing in that little shop I came across the script for a one-man show called The Night Larry Kramer Kissed Me by David Drake. I was 18 and had only fallen for my first boyfriend three months prior. I was just coming out of the closet and I needed a touchstone. I found one in David Drake’s play.

Since then I have read and reread that play hundreds of times. I have performed sections of it at auditions, speech tournaments and talent shows. I’ve dragged that script all over the place with me. It’s been eight years; I finally got to see David Drake perform tonight.
I’ve been researching health insurance recently. I’m about to loose the plan I have and I don’t get it through work so I’ve been trying to track down some reasonable coverage. Michele mentioned to me that she had seen that the Dance Theater Workshop offered low cost health insurance to any one who was a member. Membership was cheep and open to anyone, so I checked it out. On the main page was an ad for David Drake’s new one man show - Son of Dracula, his first one man show since The Night Larry Kramer Kissed Me, was playing this month only. I had to go.

Michele and I sat in the third row. I was transfixed. It was everything I was hoping for, funny, sad and beautiful. The fact that he got naked at the end was a nice added bonus.
Like his first show it was very autobiographical, talking about not only tracking his family history to the Carpathian Mountains, but his relationships with his parents and grandparents. Talking about the events that helped to shape his life.

There was one line that caught my ear and stayed with me. At one point he yells/sobs “God, please love me.” It was hard to tell if he was using ’God’ as an expletive or an appellation. At the time I felt he was asking God to love him and I thought that explained a lot about his writing. As I sit here now, I am more uncertain. It seems more likely that he was addressing his parents, mostly his father, and not the deity, but it was still the idea of begging God for love that stuck in my mind.

I have doubted many things in my life, but I have never doubted the existence of God, and never for more than I second have I doubted the love of same. For those of you who don’t know (and if you wish to maintain any illusions about my normalcy, stop here) I worked as a psychic for about four years. While I still do reading, see auras and generally muck about with metaphysics I no longer do readings professionally. However, when I was at the age that most people begin to most question Religion and the existence of God I was doing work were my job was to look for the footprints of God and try to read his intentions. Let me say unto you, I saw those prints and I felt her presence.

I remember my most powerful encounter in a reading. I had stopped giving readings or acting as a psychic for close to eight months after my car accident when I was 17. I was pissed at God for not warning me and I didn’t want anything to do with him. I was talked into my first reading in months by two friends who were convinced that my ban on all things psychic was doing rotten things to me (it was).

While it wasn’t a St. Theresa of Avila moment, it was the last time I doubted the love of God. I was left feverish, trembling and crying. How can I doubt what I have felt, touched, seen. Why should I doubt what I know?

One of the best healers and writers on spirituality and Christianity, Ron Roth, was recently asked what he saw his mission to be. He replied “To make God credible again.” Sounds like a wonderful mission.

God loves you, and so do I.